Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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