He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
