thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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