a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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