Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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