what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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