took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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