i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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