Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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