Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
