i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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