i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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