you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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