alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
