So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
