Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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