Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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