Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
