ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
