Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I checked into jail on foursquare
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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