Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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