I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
