The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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