While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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