what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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