These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
