I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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