I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
