i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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