He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
