like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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