Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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