Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
