I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
