I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
