Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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