I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
