You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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