also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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