I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
