yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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