So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize