is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
