am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
