Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
