Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
