i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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