Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's never too late to be topless.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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