Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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