if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
