So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs