Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?