stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.