butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
