I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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