doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
