I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
