chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
