Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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