Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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