FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
