yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
