I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He felt like a one man threesome
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
